Devil Ball Golf

Fred Couples has chosen an American sports icon to be a special assistant to the Presidents Cup golf team, a legend whose athletic performances were astounding and a man whose name has been forever burned into the very fabric of our nation's soul.
Here you're probably thinking, "Good Lord, do we really want O.J Simpson wandering around unsupervised on a golf course?"

The answer, of course, is no, we don't. (Not to mention that awkward moment for O.J when he tries to raise the cup triumphantly overhead while wearing handcuffs.)

Couples, of course, did not choose O.J, fearing not only a slightly negative public reaction but, in light of his most recent run-in with the law, the possibility that O.J and his new Las Vegas pals might decide something belonged to them. And by "something" I mean Tiger Woods.

Instead, Couples picked Michael Jordan, the greatest player in basketball history – if you don't count Henry Finkel of the Boston Celtics who twice during the 1969 Eastern Conference finals against the Philadelphia 76ers nearly made a layup during the pre-game warm-ups. (Both shots were swatted into the seats by a laughing Bill Russell.)

"Michael Jordan is an assistant assistant," Couples said at the news conference in San Francisco where the 2009 Cup will be played next October. "He's been at every Presidents Cup and Ryder Cup that I've played in."

Which is sort of like saying you're a foreign policy expert because you can see Russia from your hou … oops. Never mind.

Couples went on to say some other interesting things about Jordan and his Chicago Bulls teammates.

"He's won six NBA championships," Couples said, "and dealt with teammates that were phenomenal players and maybe teammates that could not play for another team."
The latter group of Bulls players included such names as, oh, I don't know.

And as for the phenomenal teammates, don't forget the great yet bizarre, cross-dressing Dennis Rodman. This in no way implies that likely Presidents Cup member Phil Mickelson would play a match wearing only a sleek, skin-tight, sequined, Spandex body suit. (But with less than a year to go the mere thought gives us time to poke our own eyes out, just in case.)

Oh, and that wacky Couples also said he wants comedian Robin Williams to be another assistant assistant. This would give the team a goofy and downright strange member, a bizarre, loveable guy who doesn't appear to be from this planet. But enough about Boo Weekley and his imaginary stick horse.

"A lot of times (it's) not the most exciting time at night and I think Robin would come and loosen us up," Couples said. "I think he's the funniest guy around."

(Personal footnote: Judging by your comments, this leaves me firmly in 1,345,678th place – two spots behind Carrot Top.)

Anyway, the addition of the hysterical, brilliant comic for the 2009 Presidents Cup would set up one of the greatest challenges in the history of mankind, an irresistible force vs. immoveable object matchup for the ages, a true Clash of the Titans: Can Robin Williams make Vijay Singh laugh?"

Golf is a staid sport. There's a tradition there, a code of conduct and behavior that forces us all to stay completely silent while a man putts a tiny ball across a lawn. And that's what a large segment of golf fandom wants out of the game, a little civility in an uncivil world.

But there's also a segment of fandom that's getting tired of the uptight attitudes, that doesn't think the apocalypse is afoot if somebody pumps up the crowd or shows some actual human emotion by tossing a club or reeling off a cuss word by then.

Golf is a sport that expects its players to adhere to a rigid code of behavior, and we as a culture have grown past that. Whether that's a good or bad thing depends on where you're standing ... and, probably, on whether you've ever sent a text message in your life.

That difference between past and present behavior is why guys with a flash of personality, like Phil, Sergio, and Daly, get covered incessantly -- incidentally, leading to them getting labeled as "overrated" since we hear about them so much. Really, would you rather hear about Daly's latest meltdown in a Dubuque Target, or yet another vanilla golf round by [Insert Vanilla Golfer Here]?

With guys like Camilo Villegas, Anthony Kim, and Boo Weekley -- there doing a Bushwood Country Club-unapproved celebration with a fan -- entering golf's upper ranks, it's a question we'll all have to deal with sooner rather than later. So where do you stand?

Tiger Woods is no longer basking in the glory of his dramatic U.S. Open victory this year. Frankly, he hardly ever thinks about it anymore.

Instead he's looking ahead, unveiling on Tuesday his plans for a $100 million golf course in Mexico, a course with a name that combines the Spanish words Punta ("person") and Brava ("who won the U.S. Open on just one leg.")

Actually, Punta Brava means "wild point" and the course will indeed sit on the tip of a spectacular peninsula with several beaches, which will allow guests to swim in the Pacific Ocean. Unless Kirstie Alley is using it.

Seriously, the magnificent course will be nestled along the edge of rocky cliffs – low enough for the megarich golfers to smell the salt breeze and hear the pounding waves and yet high enough for them to throw themselves off when they get the latest stock-market report.

The golf resort in Baja California, Mexico, some 70 miles south of San Diego, will be the third designed by Woods. One of the other two is being built in Dubai, where a big hump in the green signals either a severe and challenging break designed into the putting surface or that the green was built on top of a dead camel.

Woods is also building a course in North Carolina, not far from historic Kitty Hawk – the very place where, on the morning of Dec. 17, 1903, the Wright brothers invented the idea of charging passengers $25 for each piece of luggage.

Punta Brava will include about 125 homes. Prices start at $3 million for a one-acre vacant lot and $3.5 million for a condo. The golf pro shop will offer a full line of equipment and clothing, including shirts and shoes in case John Daly shows up.

The par-70 course will be a short (by today's standards) 6,853 yards and will test golfers with at least eight shots over ocean inlets, Woods said. It is scheduled to open in 2011 with a lavish dedication ceremony.

The highlight of the dedication will come when Phil Mickelson strolls onto the 18th green, begins to feel some pressure and misses the ceremonial first putt.

Earlier this week, we gave you our picks for the most underrated golfers in the world, and commenters added plenty of names to the list. (Personal favorite: the dude who said that Eldrick Woods has never gotten his due.) Anyway, here's the other side of that coin -- the most overrated golfers.

I expect this one will cause quite a bit more of a stir, mainly because an overrated golfer, by definition, has received more than his justifiable share of credit. It doesn't mean they're bad golfers -- all the guys on this list are extraordinarily successful -- and it doesn't mean they're bad people -- matter of fact, I like all the folks I've picked here. But there's a gap between potential and achievement, between expectation and results. Here are the golfers for whom that distance is the widest:

Michelle Wie. I don't really even need to say any more, do I?

Phil Mickelson: Yes, I know, he's won three majors, is ranked No. 2 in the world and 13th all-time in wins. And, if we were doing this post in 2006, he wouldn't be on the list. But since then, he's fallen short again and again and again, and quite a few golf fans' patience is wearing thin waiting for him to finally pose that challenge to Tiger.

Sergio Garcia: Of anybody on this list, he's got the greatest chance to pull himself off it. The tide is turning on Sergio -- yes, he whines a lot; yes, he misses putts -- but the crowds seem to be loving him and the media seems to be treating him a little more fairly. But he's still got to nail down that first Major.

Fred Couples: Great guy. Former No. 1. Everyone loves the guy; he's as casual as it comes on the course. But he's only got one Major. Does a good attitude outweigh on-course mastery?

Greg Norman: Sure, he's a legend, and everybody loved it when he made a run in the British Open earlier this year. But eight times, he's had a 54-hole lead, and only won one of those times. He spent more than 330 weeks at No. 1, and yet only managed two Major wins. Seems there should've been a few more than that.

Me: I once hit a halfway decent drive that ended up in the fairway. "Not bad," the rest of my foursome said. Considering my overall skill level, calling me "not bad" is phenomenally overrating.

Okay, your turn. Agree? Disagree? Got names to add to the list? You're away.

Here's a great find from over at The Critical Fanatic -- Boo Weekley's recent Tonight Show interview. The guy is awesome, but I simply cannot believe this isn't one big Southern-boy act. He's kind of like the cutesy version of John Rocker, tossing off Boo-isms and riding golf-club ponies rather than slagging people on subway trains and throwing hundred-mph fastballs. Dig it, particularly the keys-in-the-porta-potty story:

Golf is in good hands, friends.

Generally, golf doesn't have a whole lot of trouble with overrating its golfers. Why, I'm sure if you scroll right down this blog here you could find quite a few that you might think have gotten far too much praise for their actual accomplishments.

But what about the underrated golfers? What about the poor guys who toil away, tourney after tourney, year after year, winning trophies but always playing in a larger shadow? Which golfers haven't ever received their proper acclaim? Here are a few nominees:

Billy Casper: Hands down, the most underrated golfer in history. From 1964 to 1970, Casper (right) won 27 tournaments, more than Nicklaus or Palmer over that time. A captain of the Ryder Cup, he ranks seventh in career victories. He's also got three majors under his belt, two U.S. Opens and a Masters. And yet you almost never hear of the dude anymore. Why is that?

Larry Nelson: Nelson was a golf prodigy, breaking -- if you believe the legends -- 100 the first time he played and 70 within nine months of starting to play. While he only won 10 times on the PGA Tour, three of those were majors -- two PGA Championships and one U.S. Open. He's also a three-time Ryder Cup player ... and again, you almost never hear anything about him these days.

K.J. Choi: He's still got time to do some damage, but he's surprisingly anonymous while on the PGA Tour. I'd consider him the most underrated active golfer, but if he can put it together at a major, like he almost did at the British Open this year, he's off the list.

Now it's your turn. Which golfer, past or present, do you think never received his (or her) due? Who could use a little more love? (And don't bother with the overrated. We'll give you a chance to take on that one soon.) The tee is yours, friends.

Normally, when old guys complain about The Way Things Are Today, I tend to tune out and wait for gramps to move on to complaining about the drafty weather or drift off for a nap or whatever. But when the old guy in question is Jack Nicklaus, well, it's probably a good idea to pay attention. (That's him at right, warming up for his start tonight against the Angels. Seems a rather risky play for such a critical playoff game, but whatever ... )

Anyway, Nicklaus had some choice words to the LA Times about the FedEx Cup playoffs, and I don't think these were the ramblings of a senile madman who can't remember where he put his keys:

"Did they play that this year?" Nicklaus told The Times.

"I didn't watch a second of it. Two years in a row, it was basically over before the Tour Championship was even played, and that doesn't make sense."

Nicklaus also uses the great expression "give a rat," as in "the players don't give a rat about FedEx points," which is perfectly innocent, filthy, and confusing all at the same time.

Look, we don't need to belabor the point; the FedEx Cup is FedexCup'ed up. But rantings of fans and golf blogs is one thing; when Nicklaus steps in, let's hope that lights a fire under the appropriate tails.

(Visor Tip: You Been Blinded)

Yahoo! Sports fantasy editor and NHL contributor Matt Romig is dedicating 2008 to improving his golf game. At the Turn will chronicle his successes and failures and give readers the opportunity to share and exchange tips and stories of their own.

When you feel the way I do about golf and you read that a public course in your time zone has been selected to host a U.S. Open – in this case the course is Chambers Bay, just outside Tacoma, Wash. – the first thing you do is book a tee time.

You then bookmark the course's website and take the course tour frequently.

You plan shots. You identify birdie ops. You locate trouble and plan against it. You become your own advance team, memorizing every inch of the property, from how much fairway you want to cut off from the 7th tee to what looks good on the lunch menu (fish & chips just feels right there).

(Note to your advance team: The bunker left of the 16th green is not visible from the fairway. This is critical information. Write it on your boarding pass. Etch it into your hotel room's bathroom mirror. Have your caddy interrupt you mid-swing to remind you. This bunker can spoil your trip. It's the spot that marks an "x" on your scorecard. Not that I'd know anything about that.)

The other minor details – how to get there, where to stay, who else is coming, etc. – can be worked out at a later date. Having the tee time circled on the calendar is the key.

See, if you're anything like me, there are 3-4 rounds or outings a year you look forward to above all others. These are the majors for those of us who will never tee it up in a PGA Championship or a U.S. Amateur or a mid-am, pro-am, you name it.

Topping my list annually is a 20-man golf trip that is supposed to rotate locations but somehow lands on the Robert Trent Jones Golf Trail in Alabama year after year. You couldn't ask for a better group of guys to spend a weekend with, the mix of competition and debauchery is perfect and the golf is generally first-class.

Then there's my club championship. Not as epic, but every bit as important to me. This event has also found a semi-regular home, this one at the Fred Couples-designed San Juan Oaks Golf Club in Northern California.

As much as those events mean to me, however, it's been several years since I've approached a round with more anticipation than my visit this summer to Chambers Bay Golf Course in University Place, Wash.

My simple review: the course didn't disappoint. Robert Trent Jones II paired a world class design with a spectacular piece of real estate to create a golf course that is so special that it was awarded two national golf championships (it will also host the 2010 U.S. Am) within a year of opening.

A few random thoughts about the course:

• Just pulling into the parking lot is an interesting experience. Imagine arriving at Pebble Beach and starting your round with a quick helicopter tour of the Monterey Coast. With what you pay there, it sure seems like an aerial tour or scuba lessons or lunch with Clint should be included, doesn't it? Well at Chambers check-in occurs on a bluff hundreds of feet above the courses. The vista provides amazing views and is a nice mood-setter. Almost every hole on the course is visible.

• The staff couldn't have been more friendly, helpful and energetic. The starter advised my buddy and I, both fringe single-digit golfers, to play the Sand tees, which measure 6,541 yards and play to a rating of 72.2. The help is there to dispense sound advice. Players are there to ignore it. So we played the 7,109-yard Navy tees. After I pured my tee shot on No. 1 I had my first "ok, this is a U.S. Open course" moment. My perfect drive left me with roughly 240-yards to go – on a par 4.

• No golf carts at Chambers Bay without a doctors note. Fine with me. I always prefer having the course under my feet anyway, and though you probably won't notice until it's pointed out, an asphalt-free course is something to behold. As a bonus courses like Chambers and Oregon's Bandon Dunes are bringing the art of caddying back in the Pacific Northwest. Me, I'm not a caddy guy. Though it's an absurd notion, I always feel like I'm auditioning when someone else is on my bag. My buddy and I got around just fine with yardage books – there's not much trickery on this course. Caddy fees are reasonable though, so we'll call it a player's choice.

• There's a great view of No. 10 from the clubhouse and it's a hole you'll meet with anticipation. Before you try to be smart guy and to comment on how brilliantly Jones utilized the natural terrain at the Chambers site, keep in mind that 1.5 million cubic yards of earth were moved to create the course and only about 20 percent of the course features are natural. Not that I'd know anything about making that smart-guy comment.

• The course is very challenging but playable. You have to think your way around. After an opening double-bogey, I made four straight pars and later a birdie on No. 8 to stand at a respectable 4-over. Sound course management was the key. From there I took the wrong club off the No. 9 tee – it's a par 3 with a 100-foot drop from tee to green – and then flat-out left my dignity in the gorse right of the 10th green. Couple those miscues with my misfortune on No. 16 and despite making par on three of the final four holes I limped in with a 92.

• I've been fortunate enough to play a few courses in Ireland and I'll say Chambers is true to the spirit of golf from that region. Though I haven't had the pleasure of playing there, the Irish course I've heard it most often compared to is Ballybunion. Though purists will scoff at the notion, I've read of cost-conscious golfers cancelling trips overseas to instead visit Chambers and Bandon Dunes.

• One mystery for my entire group was the speed of the greens. Given the links style and the type of layout, we all expected hard, fast greens. Heck it's a U.S. Open course, right? But the greens never started rolling and of course we stubbornly left putts short all day. Even the USGA acknowledges that putting on the fescue greens will provide a unique Open experience. So there's your warning. Get those putts to the hole.

• Fans of shoot first, ask questions later golf will be happy to learn that the site the course is built on was named after Tom Chambers. Oh, sorry, wrong Tom Chambers. Gotta brush up on my history, I guess.

• This was intended to be a photo diary. Unfortunately I'm a lousy photographer and nothing takes the rhythm out of a round of golf like repeatedly pausing to try to capture the moment. I did manage to snap a shot of the lone tree on the golf course, a solitary fir that survived attack by vandals. Note to drunken teenage vandals: stick to the Charmin.

• One of the joys of playing a future U.S. Open site is envisioning what the USGA will do to the setup. There's certainly fun to be had on the par 4 16th that features a green that stretches for 39 yards and narrows to what feels like a fingertip at its farthest point. It's surrounded by bunkers and perilously close to the railroad tracks that run the length of the fairway. A deep Sunday pin placement could lead to an interesting finish.

• And that's one of the great things about golf. You'll probably never play a slow-pitch softball game at Wrigley Field or some quick lunchtime 3-on-3 on the hardwood at Madison Square Garden, but with a little planning – and OK, a lot of disposable income – you can recreate Tom Watson's chip-in on No. 17 at Pebble or try your luck at Constantino Rocca's bump-and-run at the Old Course at St. Andrews. Having played Chambers Bay will no doubt enhance my enjoyment of watching the 2015 U.S. Open.

Particularly if one of those pros winds up in that bunker on No. 16 on Sunday. They can't say I didn't warn 'em.

(If you've played Chambers Bay, let's hear your thoughts in the comments section. If you'd like to stump for your favorite gem that the rest of us aren't on a first-name basis with yet, you can do that too.)

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Robert Trent Jones II photo by Associated Press.

Another golfing season has come to an end, the fading summer sun casting its final shadows on the great and yet grim Vijay Singh last Sunday as he won the $10 million top prize in the FedEx Cup. (Criticize him if you want, but remember the old saying: "He who scowls last, scowls best.")

Now we settle in for autumn and, for